I felt hot all over…..then breathless…….my heart was pounding……..the rise and fall of my chest was a sign of……..anger…..yes….I felt ANGRY……..MAD……….I wanted to go out there and scream at Kunle and Cynthia…….I wanted to shout……….I told myself to breath slowly ……and calm down……..I slowly moved backwards and sat on the edge of the bed in the room….placing my face in my hands……I wasn’t sobbing………but I felt the tears roll down my cheeks……I wiped them with the back of my palm…….. ‘Stop this Shade!’ I said to myself…….I turned and grabbed a tissue from the bedside table and checked myself out in the mirror. Pressing any creases from my clothes, I made my way back to party……….I was ready…..knowing what I knew……….I was ready.
‘Where have you been?’ Amaka asked. ‘Needed to freshen up, I answered quickly, so what’s been happening?’ ‘What will be happening? We’re jollying all the way’ Amaka replied. ‘HELLOooo…….Shade….where is your mind?....I’m talking to you now…’ ‘Don’t mind me’, I replied blankly….my eyes scanning the venue. I allowed them to stop for a minute, then dragged them away. ‘Where is my own drink Amaka? I can see you’ve settled yourself’. ‘Haba…I know you like Malta Guinness and so I told the waiter to get you some’. ‘There he is now’. ’hey, where are you going again? I heard Amaka say inquisitively’. I did not bother to answer, I made my way towards the gate, my steps quickened. I noticed Kunle slip out the small side gate about a minute before I got there and I followed suit. I turned my gaze from left to right and then back again and recognised his car.
My steps were brisk and determined. Determined to see this through. The tinted windows on his SUV gave minimal view of what he was doing inside the car. I rapped my knuckles against the window. The window slid down. ‘Shade, where have you been Shade? I’ve been trying to reach you my dear’. He kept glancing over his shoulders. ‘Why don’t you come into the car?’ He said nervously. ‘Into your car’, I repeated in a crude way. ‘Then what next Kunle? They’re having Edo night at ‘The Cooking Pot’ so lets go there and chill out and then go to our love nest so you can press all the freshness out of my body eh?’ ‘What next Kunle? I said raising my voice.
‘Shade why now? Why are you doing this to me now? I’ve had a really hard day. If you have any feelings left for me please I beg you please don’t do this now. Lets go somewhere, where we can have an adult conversation instead of turning this into a shouting bout’. ‘Are you for real Kunle?’ I was screaming at him and my body was shaking. ‘I loved you, I still love you and God help me despite everything I’m still in love with you and you’re telling me about having an adult conversation when you’ve treated me like a wet, torn rag and thrown me away’. I can’t believe you Kunle, I said sobbing. ‘Do you realise I’m pregnant’. I saw apprehensiveness flash through his yes, then anxiety. He got out of the SUV and pulled me to the side. ‘Are you serious he said grabbing both my shoulders and turning me to face him.
I nodded sobbing. ‘Yes, I broke down….yes’. He guided me to the passenger door and shut the door after speaking quietly. ‘We can deal with this Shade, lets go and talk’. He glided out of the narrow spot where he was parked. The air-condition dried my tears. We drove in silence. He did not talk and neither did I.
